Friday, 7 January 2011

I'm harbouring a pillow larcenist

The last few days I've suddenly found myself unable to sleep. No matter what I've done I find myself tossing and turning unable to get comfortable. I'd blamed it on my toothache, messed up routine, caffeine addiction and lack of doing stuff when awake. It turns out its all D's fault, cause he's nothing but a dirty pillow thief.

I have a routine when it comes to pillows; the first layer is the thin might-as-well-not-exist pillow, followed by a squishy bargain basement pillow, then a firmer silent night pillow and topped off by my cuddle pillow. (which supports my aches and pains at night)

When I went to bed three nights ago I noticed a problem. On top of the bed was an intruder, it looked like my pillow and was 'dressed' like my pillow but it sure didn't feel like my pillow. I quizzed D who (of course) denied any pillow larsony so I spent the night rolling over sighing and then re-arranging my pillows, turning over, sighing etc.
D is so in-tune with my needs that when I have insomnia, he does too! (which has absolutely nothing to do with me continually shaking him because I can't sleep)

The past few days I've had neck ache, head ache, jaw ache and back ache. I've even begun to feel like maybe I had the flu or my toothache was trying to take over my body.
Tonight though D made a fatal mistake, when I went to bed he had 3 pillows and I had 4 (lumpy horrid one on top) About twenty minutes into my rolling and re-arranging routine I noticed that D now had 4 pillows..but I still had 4 pillows too.
I touched the pillow his head was on and yes it was mine, that dirty little pillow thief had stolen MY pillow, and he'd been hiding it from me.

So, I had to get it back using all of my best ninja abilities;


  1. You should have tried to smother him with it. I mean, to serve as a warning. Yeah, a warning.

    I like your bedspread.

  2. Thanks it's slightly more white and less green but the white looked weird in the drawing (yeah cause that's all hat looked weird) - if I smothered him they'd send me to jail and I'm pretty sure they only give you one pillow in jail.

  3. Chuckweasel is one of those assholes who can sleep on any pillow, but that doesn't keep him from mocking me about my strict pillow preferences (there is one that is the top one and one that is the bottom one, and if he paid attention, he would be able to put them in the proper order!. Not to mention that he claims my pillows are "nicer" - OF COURSE THEY ARE, CHUCKWEASEL! It's like he never even MET me before!

    Also, my captcha was "resteds" for a comment about pillows... how weird is that?

  4. It's pillow decorum why do these guys not know pillow etiquette