Saturday, 30 April 2011

Worth a Vote

If you have a spare five minutes today watch this video and give these guys your vote for best editing, it's truly awesome.

Please visit this link to vote for them. The registration process is simple, and you can also use Twitter or Facebook to login and vote. Please vote and spread the word!

Friday, 29 April 2011

Royal Wedding

By the end of it I was half expecting bluebirds to fly down, sweep her veil away into the sky as flower petals fell on it in the words "They lived happily ever after."
The whole thing screamed Disney to me.

I did blubber when it reminded me of my wedding, (I don't know why, it wasn't as if the paparazzi and police turned up to my wedding...oh...wait) then I thought how nervous she must be as she is watched by billions.

P.S I loved the dress

Things I wondered
  • Didn't she look a little like the "evil" bride from little mermaid?

  • Only prettier and not, well, evil
  • D slept through the whole thing -how?
  • I loved the bishop of London's speech, it was really meaningful- and why couldn't we have had a speech like that at our wedding?
  • Now I want to have a party
  • I want to ride in a carriage
  • I'm now going to wave just like Kate does

    Ball pictures coming Mon-Tues next week, there's a very good reason for the delay. I'll explain then.
  • Thursday, 28 April 2011

    Slugs, snails and puppy dog tails.

    Tonight is the night of the masquerade ball and D could not be more unprepared. Currently he is going in trousers, no shirt, mask or date. All I have left to do is figure out my hair, get my dress steamed and bar any disasters I'm ready :)

    My neighbour popped by today, he is polish and a bit rusty when it comes to English. He came by because he has a "slug problem" and wants to put slug killer down but thought he'd check with me first as it says to keep pets away.
    I read the bottle's instructions which basically read "WILL CAUSE DEATH IF CONSUMED" every few lines. DEATH by
  • Eating
  • Drinking
  • Having near a food or water source
  • Leaving clumps in the ground
  • Putting in soil where you grow vegetables
  • Leaving near pet food sources
  • Using the container you mixed it in again
  • Letting children play with it
    and the list goes on...

    I've reluctantly agreed to him using it, so long as he lets me know when he does so I can keep my pets inside for a couple of days. I'm only concerned because he can't understand the instructions very well so he might "accidentally" kill the entire neighbourhood, and since my cats have been killing and bringing home a new mouse daily I'm concerned they might get poisoned by proxy.
    At any rate if he kills my cat, I'll kill his sister....that's how this thing works right?

    EDIT: I've made D's mask and now think I may be a talented artist... obviously getting up at 5am causes delusions.
  • Wednesday, 27 April 2011

    Sharing is Caring

    I received an email from a relative over the holiday inviting me to a sort-of chain-letter recipe group. I send person 1 a recipe, then forward the letter on to five people and they send me a recipe back etc.
    So I decided to share with you all my recipe for my BELOVED tuna-lemon pasta.

    Holly’s Tuna Lemon Pasta

    I ADORE this dish and it usually takes only 15/20 minutes to cook. This makes enough sauce for about two people, with left-overs for me to have seconds  I’m writing this from memory as I got rid of the recipe long ago so please excuse my poorly measured out amounts. If you want it to feed more people, add more pasta and increase the sauce amounts accordingly.

    You will need:
    2 x Tin of tuna in sunflower oil
    1 x Double cream, a standard size blue elmea works fine (I think that’s 250ml but can’t remember)
    1 x Lemon
    Dried Pasta (however much you would normally make for two people)

    Get the pasta on the boil in a pan.

    Use a frying or other large round pan to make ‘the sauce’, it’s important that the pan surface area is large rather than deep.
    Pour the double cream into the sauce pan, place it on a medium heat to warm through, use a zester to take some of the rind off the lemon and allow it to mix with the cream in the pan.
    Add some fresh or dried parsley (just a pinch) –STIR- Once the sauce is warm;
    Squeeze half a lemon into the cream – stir rapidly to avoid curdling-
    You should now see the cream thickening up.

    (feel free to squeeze the other half of the lemon into the sauce, I do, but this is just my preference as I like the sauce tangy, you’ll be best to taste and experiment with this before adding it to the pasta for what you prefer)

    Open the tins of tuna, drain the oil of one in the sink and drain a generous amount of the other’s oil into the creamy sauce. (approx. 2-3tbsp)
    Stir well. *taste to see if you want more lemon adding*
    When the pasta is cooked, drain, rinse and return to the pasta pan.
    Pour both tins of tuna over the pasta followed by the sauce. Stir it through but try not to break the tuna up too much.
    Serve. (and in my husbands case, add cheese)

    The pasta should taste fishy with a lemon tang, if it’s not lemony enough when you try it, add more lemon juice next time. You can always miss the lemon zest out and simply use bottled lemon juice instead, but I find you have to use far more and it lacks the punch that a fresh lemon gives.

    Please note the addition of tuna oil is my adaptation of the original recipe which called for anchovy oil to be added. I couldn’t find any at my supermarket and tuna oil works nicely and is already available when making this recipe (so less waste).

    I hope you enjoy this dish as much as I do, it’s quick, easy and very yummy.

    Saturday, 23 April 2011

    How to fool a salesman

    Generic Film Salesman : Hello Ladies can I ask you where you rent your movies from?
    Me: *staring blatantly at the sign above his booth and reading off it* Generic
    GFS: *skeptical* Realllly?
    Me: *looking at him right in the eye* Yup.
    GFS: So how did you hear of us?
    Me: I got a discount code through the post for a 30-day trial.
    GFS: And did you continue it after 30-days?
    Me: .....Sure.
    GFS: Well I guess I can't ask for better than that
    *turns to my friend*
    GFS: Do you use Generic
    MF: I got a trial through the post too
    GFS: ...Aww now C'MON, you didn't BOTH get a trial
    ME: *shrugs* I gave her my code
    GFS: *clearly aware he's being played but unable to sell us something we say we already have* !SIGH! Well, did you continue the service
    MF: Okay
    GFS: *grinding his teeth* Well have a good day then.

    Friday, 22 April 2011

    I'm so Tardy

    I can't believe I've been gone for the last few days, every time I sat down to blog I'd get called away or fall asleep.
    On Wednesday I journeyed out of town to buy some stock, and while there I also brought these for myself.

    I'm not going to wear them, just keep them because I love me some Cookie Monster.
    I also managed to pick up my dress for the masquerade ball on Thursday! I saw it a month ago, it's perfect, and even better, I only had a £20 budget, and when I found it in the store it was the ONLY DRESS ON SALE and had gone from £50 to £20 - THAT. IS. FATE.
    And it's a size 8, and I can fit in it just fine, I haven't worn an 8 since my college prom and I usually can't cram my "goods" into anything smaller than a 10 without looking like I'm gonna tip-over, not that I'm amazingly endowed or anything, but fitting into an 8 is a massive esteem boost. I love you zumba.
    Speaking of which... (D's new favourite term even when he wasn't speaking of what he turns the conversation to)
    I went to Zumba again last night and I was laughing and smiling my way through so I think the other tired people may think I'm mad, I put all my effort into it and did just fine so I think the 15 miles I walked since last week have paid off. I love Zumba, it's just so much fun, and the instructor signalled me before the knee dance so I could sit out.
    So that's the update for now, today is Good Friday so it's a no sweets,crisps,meat or nice-tasty-things-to-eat day and I'm sure by 5pm today I'll be clutching myself and crying over my chocolate cravings...that's what happened last year. On a plus, as of Sunday I CAN DRINK AGAIN!

    (and how could I forget to mention PORTAL 2 was released yesterday and is now in my grubby little hands)

    My best friend; The weighted companion cube.
    Don't forget, the cake is a lie!

    Tuesday, 19 April 2011

    Where for art thou Colm

    On Friday I went to Emmzie's house to watch the 25th edition of Les Miserables. It wasn't until the end that I realised I have a total crush on Colm Wilkinson, and have had that crush for the last 15 years. Seriously. I want to spawn his awesomely musically gifted, singing children, with nice hair and good dance moves, (a little something from their momma.) I want his voice for myself, in a total little mermaid theft kinda-way.
    I told D we need to get divorced, Colm is older than us and I probably don't have a lot of time left to get him to fall in love with me. I told D we can meet up again afterwards and I'll share my riches, but I may have been lying, I'll decide later.
    Anyway in my obsession I forced D to listen to two hours of me searching Colm Wilkinson on Youtube, and playing every old grainy sound recording I could find. But for you guys I thought I'd share a slightly more easter themed track.

    My apologies the blogs this week and more "linky" that anything but we are running a 4-day week right now, followed by a 3-day week (pfft royal wedding) and then another 4-day week, so my business is mega busy trying to cram everything into only 11days rather than 18days.

    Saturday, 16 April 2011

    They called it WHAT?!?

    The name: Apple
    The parents: Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin
    Paltrow told Oprah she named her daughter this way because: “Apples are so sweet and they're wholesome and it's biblical - and I just thought it sounded so lovely and … clean!” The couple continued the biblical (though thankfully not fruit-based) theme when they called their next child Moses.

    How, pray tell, are APPLES biblical? Does anyone here know? I know that the "tree of knowledge" from adam and eve is often drawn as an apple or pear tree but at no point in the actual bible is it described as an apple tree, in fact it's only described as a "fruit tree". The "apple is an "assumption" which developed from artistic renderings of the garden of eden, and I only know THAT because of good ol' catholic school.
    So Gwyneth, or shall we call you kiwi? Why is an apple biblical, and if you find out it isn't biblical after-all will you consider changing your child's name?

    Coming Soon the children of Holly : IVY, PICKLE and TOILET

    Friday, 15 April 2011

    Hey Mr. DJ I'm up on the dance floor wanting some more..

    I write this to you from on my deathbed. Zumba is both totally awesome and really, really hard. In 60 minutes we did 10 dance routines, one new routine and a warm-up and warm-down. And in that 60 minutes there were NO breaks. You're encouraged after each dance to have a drink as she changes the track but that's all.
    All the moves are quite basic but sometimes the footwork can be tricky to pick up. You're not shown how to do things so much as to just watch the person in front of you and attempt to copy. But considering for each routine there are maybe 6 moves to learn then you throw them together in different ways its not hard to pick up. The really difficult thing is continuously rotating your hips for the entire class.
    What was a pleasant surprise was the fact that the class had a handful of girls younger then us who probably attend the school where it was held. The majority of the class were 35-50-somethings and then there were five 70-90 year olds.
    That's my non-biast practical take on it. Here is what personally happened;
    6:30 - Class starts, we're nervous and tripping up a bit but we handle the warm-up well.
    6:40 - we've done about two dances now and I'm feeling the pleasant burn.
    6:45 - dear god, don't they stop for breaks..I now have stitch in my side.
    6:50 - Stich has gone, I'm starting to 'grey' around the vision.
    6:55 - I've been dancing for 25 minutes now, my knee is aching from the last dance were all I seemed to do was hop on one leg. I don't want to be the first one to sit out...
    7:00 - Need to give my knee a rest and catch my breath so sit out.
    7:05 - The Loud whining noise inside my ears has stopped and my vision is no longer turning grey so I get back in.
    7:12 - Learned a new dance routine and have discover I and Sis have both gone bright red from exertion, everyone else looks fine.
    7:15 - keep getting the giggles as I can't samba and have now drawn the instructors attention.
    7:18 - Stop really trying to wiggle my hips now just dragging myself through the movements.
    7:20 - I tell Sis I'm going to die and she's going to have to call an ambulance, she tells me we can make it through the last 10 minutes.
    7:25 - I have now got permanent stitch in my side
    7:30 - Exhausted and some idiot has asked her to do the core workout.
    7:35 - Core workout was easy barely had to move, great!
    7:40 - FINALLY a warm down.

    We were the last to leave the class, wanting our face colours to return to normal and now we realise why everyone else brought towels with them.
    We are going to go again, it was great fun, I barely ache today but trust me, it is hard and my god I had more stamina than I thought. I do really want to make it through a class without taking a break and without being exhausted at the end. That's going on my 100 by 100.

    8:05 - At home eating tea, still have stitch.

    Thursday, 14 April 2011

    Dear Mr. Ebay (Part 2)

    Dear, Mr. Ebay,

    I was pleasantly surprised to receive a credit to my account of £163. What a lovely bribe gift. It's a wonderful thing to meet someone who can admit when they have made a mistake. I hope your three day long migraine clears up now. No, I don't know why you could be having one, but if you'll just remove the pin from the eye of the doll I sent you, (silly me I must-have left that in while I was sewing,) I'm sure you'll feel better soon.

    Supreme overlord of the universe,


    Tonight I am off to Zumba with my sister-in-law, and I am terrified. I always hate going to "classes" as the newbie, all the seasoned pros get the "fresh meat" look in their eyes.
    Maybe that's just normal dance classes, maybe as Zumba is for the masses they're a lot nicer there. Probably not.
    I'm also worried I'll cause more strain to my side but I'm sick of not doing anything "just in case" so tonight I will Zumba away, or sit on the sidelines and "hate" the healthy people. Either way it sounds like a fun evening once I drag my yellow-bellied ass over to the class.

    Wednesday, 13 April 2011

    10 Year Anniversary

    10 years ago today I had surgery to remove my gallbladder.
    It was surgery I didn't want and one that caused a large rift between me and my parents as my rights and ability to make a decision were bypassed. I was a sensible kid, if I'd been given just a little time I'd probably have decided surgery was the best option, but I was shocked, scared, overwhelmed and my parents just barrelling on wasn't helping.
    I don't want this to be a moaning post, but I don't have a lot to say that is positive, ever since surgery I've had problems and it's hard sometimes to not be resentful.
    However I do want to mark this day with something; so here is a well known song that my brother played me the night before I went to hospital and that I sang over-and-over while laid in my hospital bed. This song means a lot to me and this is also probably the only time you will see me say I like a Zombie!

    Tuesday, 12 April 2011

    ..and you were there, and you, and you were there too...

    Last night I had the most crazy screwed up dream, and it's all your fault. This is the last time I read your blogs before bed-time.

    So there is some major disaster and this stuff gets released in the air that causes people to turn nasty. After initial infection we are stuck in a major city trying to get to a boat and trying to find a solution. It starts off with about seven of us in a mini van, and people die all the time, we are trying to get away to some boat and save humanity. (Normal dream,right)
    Well partway through my dream and everytime I encounter the "infected" I'm chased by Zombie-Hobo's Gee, thanks Hoody. So I'm pretty terrified and it's more of a flight than fight response. Only you don't get turned into "one-of-them" if they kill you to death. And hot-guy (there is always a hot guy) sacrifices himself to let us escape through the sewers so we can go to a seaworld/drainage ditch area to release a MASSIVE FLYING LIZARD (or dragon), thanks kitten thunder for that one, which will save us all. And they needed me because I knew how (yeah I'm not expendable, just some insurance that people save my ass) Something about it having the ability to negate the problem, or destroy the point of infection, I don't know I just know that's the part of the dream I got some kick-ass magical powers...finally got on a cruise ship,(ahem...thoughtsappear..ahem) and then WHAM woke up just as I faced off with the big baddie.

    So either you guys have been brainwashing me or 'blogs before bedtime' is a complete FAIL!
    Oh, and the next time you guys crash my dreams...we need more ammo!

    Monday, 11 April 2011

    Dear, Mr. Ebay

    Dear Mr. Ebay,

    How does it feel to be sat in your solid gold mansion? Have you recently decided to remodel, landscape or maybe add an extra wing? Or perhaps, was your swimming pool of cash in need of a refill?
    I only ask because for some, ridiculous reason, my fees have gone up. I know you too must be shocked and dismayed at this fact.
    I discovered yesterday that for "some reason" a handful of my listings had been set to "gallery picture plus" costing me an extra £2.95 per item per month. And did you know that this had been automatically set up by yourself?
    I had no idea you had such an interest in increasing my sales.
    I really do wish you had spoken to me beforehand as most of the listings you added this "larger picture in search bar to increase sales" to didn't even have a picture.
    I'm sure though that this was only an oversight. It's also unfortunate that you didn't think that perhaps the £25 a month charge was the difference between paying myself and my company going broke.
    But don't let that ruin your afternoon swim in the cash pool.
    I know we can't all be squillionaires and that your opinion of what matters and mine will differ, but perhaps you could leave the business decisions to me next time?

    Yours Sincerely,

    P.S. Thanks also for ending 100 of my listings. I see that this is because you have decided to alter shipping rates. I'm sure the message informing me of this change was hand-written by you and that the post man simply misplaced it.
    I know you wouldn't have wanted to cause me any extra hassle or waste my time, and given your previous interest in improving my sales, wouldn't have wanted to end my listings unnecessarily. I'm sure that message will turn up eventually. In the meantime please enjoy the doll enclosed in this package. I made it in the likeness of you and I'm thinking of selling them on Ebay. Whatdya think?

    Friday, 8 April 2011

    Leopards are dying. FACT!

    My favourite TV channel seems to be sponsored by every charity under the sun as each commercial is a plea for just £X a month.
    My favourite advert is the leopard one. It informed me that there are only 37, 37 leopards! Left in the wild - this really made me pay attention and try figure out how to afford £36 a year to adopt E'ulgeri.
    Then D came home and we were watching my favourite TV channel (because I hid the remote) when the same advert came on.almost.

    Advert: "There are only 35 leopards left in the wild"
    Me: WTF? That advert was on an hour ago and there were 37 alive then!
    D: There you go killing things with your mind-bullets again.
    Me: Dammit!

    Thursday, 7 April 2011

    Roarke is a moron

    What you see above is the image of a cat, so stupid he can give himself a concussion.

    Last night after watching Lambing Live (more about that tomorrow) I realised one of my girl cats was out. It's pitch black and I walk through the dining room (without turning a light on) and up to the french door so I can open it and let her in.
    No sooner have I put my hand on the door than a solid "THUNK" noise is heard against the glass. I am now part-way to opening the door and shut it firmly again seeing the streak of black and thinking my neighbours stupid dog has broken into my yard.
    I then slowly re-open the door to discover Roarke giving me his "why did you hit me" face while falling over.
    Yes, he in his eagerness to use his magical cat-powers* to open the door, ran head-first into it.
    Roarke spent the next twenty minutes purring desperately, wobbling around while looking cross-eyed, and could only be described as "DIZZY".
    D spent the rest of the evening testing Roarke reflexes - it would seem he has none - and I allowed him to sleep on the bed just in case he started dying or choking on his tongue or something.
    Today he is doing fine, but not once has he left the house via the french windows. Instead he is asking for the front door or window to be opened. Delayed smartness.
    What was most confusing about last night is the door opening makes a significant noise which usually is enough to call the cats in without me hollering. What Roarke thought he was doing is beyond me, I'm slightly concerned he'd been head butting the door for an hour to try get it to open once his cat powers* had failed.

    * Magical cat powers include, but are not excluded to, staring at something until it does what you want it to do.

    Wednesday, 6 April 2011

    I like writing I do

    There is a local on-line selling group which covers just our town and the villages around it. It helps you get rid of stuff that's oversized for posting and works a bit like gumtree. I found my bike on this site and sold my air walker amongst other things and it's a great, local way to sell for free.
    They are working on releasing a website for us to sell via auction (for free we hope) but it concerns me when they send us a message such as this;

    "Well we telled you about a month ago we was opening are very own auction site well were now happy to say were on the last steps and hoping to open the site at 8pm full address we be given soon."

    Seriously? Seriously, you telled us? You was doing what? Oh, you was opening a site?
    Makes me feel like I'm speaking to a 5yr old. Clearly this is not going to turn out as the "next Ebay" and it's taking all my self control NOT to comment on their post with the grammatically correct translation..what dya think...should I?

    EDIT: Ahhaha, here is a previous post from the same clueless schmuck
    "Coming soon to the internet in front off you are very own bid site little like that money making site called ebay but best thing about are site its 100% free were aiming to get are site fully working by sunday 8.00pm were the link will be posted stand by"

    Tuesday, 5 April 2011

    The tax year cometh!

    Finally the tax year ends today! Woohoo!
    So far I have managed to spend an extra £150 on stock and I get to go post my items later today which should spend some more of my accountable cash.
    I've celebrated by ordering lunch to be delivered from one of those "we only deliver to businesses" places.
    When D placed the order she kept saying "we don't do homes" but un-perturbed he gave her my company name and address so finally she agreed to deliver. We even made sure to order THREE sammiches just so we looked official and fully staffed (one is for my tea while D is working the 2-10pm shift tonight.) D intends on handing my business card over when he receives the food, but I'm pretty certain that we're probably gonna have to give them a tour of the office to get them to hand over the grub first!
    I hope you are all enjoying your end of the tax year celebrations....oh is it just me that celebrates? Well i'll save a bite of sandwich for ya!

    Sunday, 3 April 2011

    Who knew running a business could be so hectic?

    This is a very quick catch-up, now that the toblerone frenzy has ended I realise how much is left to be done.
    The tax year ends in three short days and I CAN'T WAIT! Then I'm probably going to owe £800 tax so I need to get on earning that cash for the tax man. It's complicated as I shouldn't be paying tax (and can't afford to) on my new business but because I worked for nine months last year in a "real" paid job, I'm liable - which TOTALLY SUCKS! So even though I earned and paid tax on 13k last year and only earned £600 (untaxed) from my business I probably still owe £800. On the good side I don't need to pay it until Jan 2012, it's advisable to try pay it before then though.

    With the tax year ending I have a lot of paperwork to get through, sums to do and stock to check (whoop-de-freeking-do) I need to also decide if staying with the (th)E(y stole my money)B(y heck their cut is large)(What)A(ridiculous shop price)(wh)Y(are the costs so high?) or if I'm going to float a few items cheaply until August and then throw all my stock back on-line over Christmas (with the help of D taking his holiday's then to help me) and only truly trade on there aug-march. Still undecided but I have until the 15th to have a solution.

    And on top of that, I want to bake a cake today before my eggs go off, a chocolate cake, with proper chocolate,

    So my apologies if my blog over the next fortnight is haywire, lacking content or written by me when tired, mardy and at midnight.
    After the 15th I'm back to normal working-ness (I dearly hope) and none of this ridiculous adding up, squeezing pennies and trying to understand why my bank balance and my account balance disagree...seriously where is the extra 20 quid.
    For now I'm going to pop and see el'crazy'momma of mine as it's Mothers Day here, and if I don't do it now I'll get busy working and it'll be midnight when I realise I never went to see her.
    So if any of ya'll have some extra motivation just "lying" around send it my way, please, oh and an extra £800 couldn't hurt either :P

    EDIT: Also just to explain the title, they do tell you in all the books and bumf that a business is a lot of work. Which isn't a problem, I like work and my ex-staff said there was no way I could fail because of how hard I work and how motivated I am (thanks btw Alex) What they straight out don't tell you is that you have to think AND DO lots of things at once, so you always feels like your mind is running with all this information and you can't process it all fast enough. So I now have whiteboards to write the things to do down in the (false) hope they will vacate my mind.
    So to be clear, I'm not whining about the workload, I'm whining about the sheer responsibility of feeling like I need to do ten jobs, be in ten places and resolve ten things simultaneously.
    When I can finally hire staff it will be a happy day!