Friday 22 May 2020

The Adventures of Calliope

Hello 🐾My name is: Calliope
My nicknames : Cali, Scallywag, SuperCalifragalistic, pupper, pup tart, pu-ppee (high pitched), pup pup boogie, cali-lally, butthead.
Whose a good girl, whose a good boy (I'm not sure she means me but I likes the praise), 'what's this' - she's usually looking at the kitteh but this is the bestest nickname as it has foods in it and if I use my super stare powers I can gets some. My hooman only says Calliope when I'm in troubles.
My age is: I'm 4 next week, and I wants beef cake and a new squeaky.
My favourite human food is: pizza, duck, prawns and roast beef, I also LOVES chocolate and jaffa cakes, but everyone gets really mads when I sneak them so they hide them from me 
My biggest fear is: Bangs, bangs are the owies for ears and make my body do wobbles.
My favourite things to do: When my hooman says "agility?" we have the best fun's, taking toys on walks, digging up molehills until my hooman says enuff and squeaky disc jumpy game in the garden. Other hooman's too, they give loves, play with me in my house and agility hooman's give me foodies.
What I hate the most: Dogs - they are scary, I used to have friends but my hooman says I "can't be trusted" and am "a pain in the butt" whatever that means. Most dogs are worry monsters and need to go away from me so my body doesn't do wobbles. I try to be scary to frighten them away. When we play agility I always want it to be my turn to go play, and all these other dogs keep taking my turns so I have to woof to tell them to stop it's my turn! It makes my woofer hurt and my hooman sad. I'm scared when my hooman leaves me she won't come back. I knows she comes back to the hause so I'm not scared theres, but I think she might forget me if I don't shout HOOMAN HOOMAN at her, that hurts my woofer too.
Where do I sleep: On the floor near my hoo-man, except bedtimes when I sleep on the sofa in my bedroom because the bed is not for doggies and the man-servant says I'm not allowed upstairs in case I give him too many kisses when it's morning or try sleeps on the bed, I thinks he knows I will push him off to sleep next to my hooman. He says the kitteh can sleep on the bed though which is no fair, so I push her off my sofa.
Do I love car rides? No, except Mel's car mel's car means AGILITY and I have to dance around in the back whining to remind the hooman's we are going to agility - in case they forgets.
Do I snore? My hooman says the only time I snore is when I'm having bad dreams so she wakes me up.