At four in the morning I bounced on the bed,
Narrowly missing D's sleeping head.
"He's been, he's been" I screeched from my lungs,
"Wake up D c'mon let's go have some fun!"
We opened our stockings, mine full to the brim,
of Candy and Chocolate such sugary sin.
D ran downstairs first to turn on tree lights,
I rushed down so eager to see the delights.
But surrounded by gifts, and under the tree,
no cute little puppy was waiting for me.
My steps started to falter, my mouth turning dry,
I was determined that I was not going to cry.
Suddenly a light came on in my head,
Maybe my puppy was coming later instead.
After all 4am is pretty early for puppies,
and it wasn't as if I had asked for a guppy.
So I went through the day on the best of behaviour,
Over the huge Christmas feast I willingly laboured,
Even when my toothache was terrible, I didn't cry out,
I thought of my puppy and just kept my mouth shut.
Come teatime traditionally there's one final gift,
As D left the room, my heart it did skip.
He returned with a package quite small and quite lumpy,
I figured it was a collar or map to my puppy.
I opened the package, and what did I see...
A brand new DESK TIDY staring back up at me.
"This must be a mistake, my puppy where is it?"
D looked at me nervously and started to fidget.
"I thought you were joking, and Santa did too,
that's why there's no puppy here waiting for you.
I know it seems unfair, and you've been really good,
and I'm sure Santa would have brought one if only he could."
My eyes turned to slits, my body to stone,
I told D to go now and leave me alone,
My toothache unbearable would not now be appeased,
and all I can say is I wasn't too pleased.
With a gnashing of teeth and a pulling of hair,
I wailed, I stomped but it got me no-where,
Not getting a puppy wasn't pretty or clever,
which is why this was officially the worst Christmas ever.
Here is the puppy I would have had if D wasn't such an evil supervillan
P.S D has said that while he won't actually buy me a puppy he won't stop me from getting one myself either - RESULT!
Oh and everything else I did get for Christmas was pretty darned awesome...once I'd got over the "puppy" thing, I mean what sort of reaction did he expect when on every gift he'd written "for an animal?" or "is this for the puppy?"