Tuesday, 28 December 2010

A Christmas Story

At four in the morning I bounced on the bed,
Narrowly missing D's sleeping head.
"He's been, he's been" I screeched from my lungs,
"Wake up D c'mon let's go have some fun!"

We opened our stockings, mine full to the brim,
of Candy and Chocolate such sugary sin.
D ran downstairs first to turn on tree lights,
I rushed down so eager to see the delights.

But surrounded by gifts, and under the tree,
no cute little puppy was waiting for me.
My steps started to falter, my mouth turning dry,
I was determined that I was not going to cry.

Suddenly a light came on in my head,
Maybe my puppy was coming later instead.
After all 4am is pretty early for puppies,
and it wasn't as if I had asked for a guppy.

So I went through the day on the best of behaviour,
Over the huge Christmas feast I willingly laboured,
Even when my toothache was terrible, I didn't cry out,
I thought of my puppy and just kept my mouth shut.

Come teatime traditionally there's one final gift,
As D left the room, my heart it did skip.
He returned with a package quite small and quite lumpy,
I figured it was a collar or map to my puppy.

I opened the package, and what did I see...
A brand new DESK TIDY staring back up at me.
"This must be a mistake, my puppy where is it?"
D looked at me nervously and started to fidget.

"I thought you were joking, and Santa did too,
that's why there's no puppy here waiting for you.
I know it seems unfair, and you've been really good,
and I'm sure Santa would have brought one if only he could."

My eyes turned to slits, my body to stone,
I told D to go now and leave me alone,
My toothache unbearable would not now be appeased,
and all I can say is I wasn't too pleased.

With a gnashing of teeth and a pulling of hair,
I wailed, I stomped but it got me no-where,
Not getting a puppy wasn't pretty or clever,
which is why this was officially the worst Christmas ever.

Here is the puppy I would have had if D wasn't such an evil supervillan

P.S D has said that while he won't actually buy me a puppy he won't stop me from getting one myself either - RESULT!
Oh and everything else I did get for Christmas was pretty darned awesome...once I'd got over the "puppy" thing, I mean what sort of reaction did he expect when on every gift he'd written "for an animal?" or "is this for the puppy?"


  1. Oh no!
    I don't know if I should be proud of your poetic accomplishment or handing you sharp objects to "poke" D with.

    I can't believe he wrote "for the puppy" on the gifts and there was no puppy!
    Double Grinch status for his evilness.

    *points to item #2 on your to do list*
    Would not purchasing a puppy qualify D as someone who deserves it? Just wondering.

    *sending hugs to Holly*
    So sorry! I really thought the puppy would be there too.

  2. So did I, I mean I'm not all "I only want a puppy for Christmas" but I was PROMISED this puppy 13 frikking months ago and I figured I'd jumped through enough hoops already.

    D just hates dogs and says he's scared my dog will be an overweight pampered thing and "only to keep me company" which of course it wouldn't be and let me point out my cats are not porkers and that he didn't want them until I brought them home either.

    When I got the hamster it was some pretty impressive mind-control on D, I came home from a night out
    Me: Tinkerberry is selling her old hamster stuff for £10 can I buy it?
    D: Sure but were not getting a hamster yet, you'll have to wait for your birthday next month
    Me: I'll just set the cage up now
    (an hour passes)
    D: Shall we go get you a hamster now?
    Me: *muhahahaah*

    So I figure I have two tacts to take.

    1) take super amazing care of my hamster to prove what a great pet owner I am.
    2) Work really hard to save up for the puppy since this method usually gets me rewarded by D forking over the last bit of cash I need and caving into my demands because I've been working so hard.

  3. I love how D says he "won't stop you" from getting a puppy... as if he could! You hear that, D? AS IF YOU COULD!!!

  4. He couldn't stop me getting the cats and now we have three :) I tell them regularly whenever they look too cosy sleeping on his knee that he never wanted them and doesn't love them nearly as much as I do. Yeah I'm still their favourite - take that D!

  5. OH MY GOD go get a puppy NOW before he makes some excuse not to. RUN don't walk.

    I am glad you had a good Christmas even though no puppy. I had a great one even without a goat.

  6. I'll buy you a goat if you'll buy me a puppy.