If looking at my brother couldn't confirm that crazy runs in my family (sorry bro) then the conversation I recently had with my mum, (in which I mentally threw her through an open window out of frustration) proved to me that I was raised by nutters and it has rubbed off.
Mother's Day at this side of the world is on Saturday and as my parents are selling up their home and moving away, D and I thought it would be nice to treat her to a Chinese meal out. I arranged with my dad the best time for them (which is Saturday night) and I booked a table at the best place in town. When I called to confirm the reservation with my parents my mum went crazy and my dad just put her on the phone to me.
Mum: *angry* Why on earth are we going 7pm Saturday and not Mother's day
Holly: *flummoxed* because Dad said you are busy on Sunday and that Saturday night is best
M: Oh...well..he didn't say that
H: That's why I booked for Saturday
M: Can't we go earlier?
H: Well no, that's pretty much when they open
M: How about lunch
H: They don't open at lunch
M: *cross* Well will there be people there?
H: at lunch?
M: No at night
H: Well mum it is a restaurant, and if there isn't anyone in the restaurant you're eating at, it means everyone knows something you don't, and you probably shouldn't be eating there either.
M: So it'll be busy
H: It's a small place but the food is lovely and you have to book to get a table so it will be full but it's small and cosy and the bar is the size of a wardrobe.
M: So they'll be drunk people
H: (only me) no, it's not that sort of place it's a nice restaurant not a bar/eatery
M: I know how it works you go fill up your plate from a tray
H: No mum it's classy they do all you can eat but they bring it to your table freshly made and piping hot, it's wonderful.
M: I don't really think that night is a good idea
H: We could do another night? But not Mon-Wed as D is working late which brings us back to the Thurs-Sat option.
M: It doesn't matter we won't go.
H: Mum!
M: Maybe another time
H: Would you rather we had a take-out?
M: Maybe
H: You could come here and we'll order in
M: You could come here, there's more space
H: (WTF?) Mum, do you just not want to leave the house? Doesn't us coming to you sort-of ruin the point of you going out for the night.
M: I don't mind you coming here and ordering Chinese if you're paying
H: Well have a think about what you want and remember it doesn't have to be Chinese.
M: *ANGRY* Why won't it be Chinese?
H: (whoa) We'll because we're ordering in it could be anything you like it doesn't have to be Chinese if you fancy something else.
M: I want Chinese
WTF then why won't you come out for the nice booked and paid for Chinese dinner!!!!
Ugh I spoke to my dad about it and he just went "you can't tell your mum anything" and "she's just worried they'll be drunk people there" and "she won't listen if you tell her otherwise."
Now I realise who I get it from. Whenever I get invited to an event I get anxious about the number of people there, if it'll get out of hand blah blah, and I always think I'm crazy but don't know why I feel like that...apparently I've been brain-washed into worrying about stuff like that. It'd best have some secret use in the future, like zombie control or something and not just my ticket into a mental institute..no wait I can't go there, they'll be too many people.
If I could, I would stay in my house and never go out. But alas, I'm poor and can't do that.
ReplyDeleteI would also vote for staying in the house and never going out, except perhaps for trips to a private beach with lovely island boys to bring me fruity rum drinks... but for some reason, I have to "work" to get "money" for "buying things." Stupid system. And have you considered your mother may be trying to make YOU go crazy so then she'll look like the normal one? That's what Dear Sweet Mama is doing to me.
ReplyDeleteWait ... I don't normally equate Chinese restaurants with drunk people ... maybe I've been eating at the wrong places. Dang it.
ReplyDeleteI love the "I don't mind you coming here and ordering Chinese if you're paying" line. That's just priceless!
I'm poor but I still do that, bless D working to keep me stuck inside...
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Quite possibly Hoody, the more I see her at the moment the more I go gawd she's crazy..oh gawd...I'm crazy
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I know! Well the only drunk people I remember from that place are me with my rum and pirate impressions. There might be a reason I don't remember anything else.
Is your mother my grandmother somehow? Because that's just like one of our conversations. On the bright side, both of my parents have given me permission to shoot them in the head if they ever start acting like that. Sure, by the time they start losing their minds they'll have forgotten...but not me...I never forget...
ReplyDeleteI feel I should add a mwa ha ha haaaaa here.
Hehe, it's quite possible, I'm noticing more and more in trying not to become my father I've become my mother!
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