Workmen - things I have learnt

As you may recall my MIA-ness from last week was caused by workmen, and finally they are finishing up the job today.

I have learnt a few things from my time with them;
a) NEVER agree to them leaving to return in a couple of hours...they won't come back
b) They think leaving their toolbox with you is worth a day's pay...even if they weren't there to open it.
c) They always have some silly excuse as to why they didn't come back the day before or bother calling you
d) You will never be so quiet, or so tidy as when workmen are in your home
e) Suggesting to them, you don't care what the new light fitting is, so long as it is brighter than the current fitting, is the BEST route to take.
f) They will install the downstairs fire alarm in the stupidest place possible.

and most importantly;

I CANNOT USE MY OWN BATHROOM WITH WORKMEN IN THE HOUSE
This all goes back to 'Jeff's' Secret listeners comment** and is also the reason I used to shut D in the furthest room from the toilet with loud music and threaten him to stay put or else.
The workmen must think I had some bladder issue with the sheer amount of time I spent making trips to the toilet...never to actually 'use' the facilities.

Even worse, we've been quoffing massive quantities of D's home-brew which has made everyone into a walking whoopee cushion.
I've purposefully positioned myself in front of an open window, just so the workmen don't have to deal with me not being as "feminine" as I could be.
Hopefully they'll leave for lunch soon, it's been three hours and my internal organs are threatening to implode.

**You always have to be quiet as there are secret listeners every time you go to the toilet.