Clock Conspiracy

I apologise to those of you who came across this post while it was mis-titled "cock conspiracy" - I bet your very disappointed.

I awoke around 10am if you believe the bedroom clock or 6am if you believe the kitchen clock, because I was sure I could hear voices. Having recently purchased a 42 inch tele' to replace the one that "broke" and having had twinkletoes ring me yesterday to say she was nearly burgled I've been a tad paranoid that someone is going to "nick" it. Particularly since realising (as twinkletoes was talking about her close call) that I had left all the windows downstairs wide open all night.

So I wake up, suffering terrible leg and hand cramps - oh the joys of pregnancy - so am unable to leap up (who am I kidding I haven't been able to leap or move in an agile manner for at least five months) and instead kick D awake while whispering "the clock says it's 10:30....are we being burgled? It doesn't sound like 10:30" (it didn't the road outside was silent and birds were chirping).

Poor D having been nearly crushed by preggers here seemed to think I thought someone was stealing the time or the clock - he grinned inanely at me, and rolled over and back to sleep.

I decided I would have to go investigate, and possibly get shot by the burglars because now I desperately needed the loo and felt violently sick (someone forgot to take her medicine last night)

Bathroom business completed I edged downstairs, peering out of windows and wondering if some kind of Zombie or flood related holocaust had emptied the world of people. The sky was slightly grey but the weather is foul so what can be expected. I reach the kitchen, swing my medicine and note the clock in here says it's 6am - darnit! Now feel doubly nauseous from realising I've been asleep only four hours...

I turn on the tele' - yes it's still here and the news kindly informs me it's actually...dum dum dum.....it's not even quite 5AM!!! WTH! Am so "surprised" nausea turns into full fledged exorcist moment, (saldy d is still fast asleep and could not be relied on for hair-holding, back rubbing, hand holding or any sympathetic murmuring. The news informs me we can expect even more "rain" today. tomorrow and for the rest of eternity.
At this rate we are going to need an arc, and I clearly need a new household timezone....or clock batteries.