Thursday, 3 November 2011

Men and Mo-vember

Warning, this is probably going to offend some people (D) and if you are easily offended (D), just don't read on, simples right? If you DO read on and you DO get offended, that's on you (D). This is my space and I can sit around naked talking crap if I want to....wait....what?

It's going around Facebook and D's work at the moment that November is the month where, to raise awareness of testicular cancer, men grow themselves a moustache.

I hate things like this.

No I'm no Pogonophobic, I just do NOT understand how having facial hair raises awareness for something.

What would raise awareness is having "testicular cancer is one percent of all diagnosed male cancers, check yourself" tattooed on your forehead, wearing a massive t-shirt or sign, and even maybe walking around bottomless (if you're male) with a "how to check yourself" poster. Simply donning a beard in no way actually raises awareness.

I hated it when breast cancer awareness month came around and some idiot decided we should "write down where we have left our handbag but not explain why" so Facebook was filled with "I do it on the floor" "I do it on the stairs" yet participants were instructed not to reveal the secret behind what the posts were talking of, so how exactly DOES THAT RAISE AWARENESS???
Another year it was "write the colour of your bra as your Status, but don't tell anyone why.."
You know what raises awareness better than facial hair, random colours and locations being facebooked?

Everything else.

And just trust men to come up with a way to "raise awareness" that involves even less effort than normal day-to-day activities.
Woman walk, jog or run for breast cancer to raise money for the cure amongst other publicised activities, and men....they just stop shaving for a month. Well guys - we know you didn't like doing that anyway, kudos for putting in the minimum effort required.

I mean it's not as if we are going to look at every person with facial hair and go 'WOW that raises my awareness for testicular cancer!' So many men have facial hair even when it's not November, we're probably not going to really notice.
The only person who will notice is your wife/girlfriend who will tell you to shave the damn thing off and go up to the hospital and get that suspicious-looking testicular lump you've been avoiding looked at already.

(By the way, anyone being sponsored to grow a moustache to raising money for Testicular Cancer research is a-okay to me, that makes sense, sort-of...I mean, you couldn't do a sport? No? Okay, but it's the other "huh,uh,huh I'm gonna grow a moustache *snort* cause I hate shavin'....I mean, for testicular cancer awareness *snort*" guys that drive me nuts....D is borderline becoming one of these guys, for all the lazy reasons aforementioned)

If you would like to raise your own awareness on testicular cancer please go here.  If you would like to raise awareness for others about testicular cancer, then please share the link; just don't dye your hair, braid your beard or start growing a moustache, or December will be 'Santa only left you a razor and wax strips for Christmas - you hairy yeti' month.

You know what else I'm going to do? Every imbecile who tells me "uhhuhuhhuh I'm growing this fuzz to raise awareness for testicular cancer" is going to be asked to provide me with THREE facts/pieces of info on testicular cancer. Those who can't answer will receive three quick kicks to the crotch.
Now THAT will raise awareness.
(if not of testicular cancer, at least of avoiding me, win,win)


  1. I totally agree -- Chuckweasel did this one year and I asked him how it was in any way logical... then said, "Is it because that beard makes you look like a nutsack?" I win.

  2. Haha! I will try that, D has already read this, got offended and said "I'm missing the point" then promptly shaved off his goatee - VICTORY lol

  3. Unless a man already looks like a tired, wrinkled scrotum, putting extra fur on it.. uh, his face, isn't going to do dick-all. Heh. See what I did there?
    In a related note, I tried very hard to ditch FaceHole when it became infested with .... gah... relatives.
    Again, see what I did there? Man, cleverness just flows from me in the mornings. Or did I just spill coffee again?

  4. It has had such a great impact that I didn't even know why people were growing facial hair. And I couldn't focus long enough to Google it.

    I hate those things on Facebook. Especially the peer pressuring "like if you love Jesus" things and the "93% of my friends won't do this" things. Sure, Facebook was invented by college students. That doesn't mean we have to act like we're in junior high.

  5. Well put angie!!

    Although i did make a very bad joke at a party tonight which had everyone in the room stare at me, a definite case of mouth talking, brain not listening.

  6. In case I don't make it back to your blog later today: good luck tomorrow! Piece of cake!