Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Love and other Drugs

So I'm on a new course of pills from today. Big scary massive pills that threaten to choke me, luckily though D has smashed the pills into more manageable pieces so we won't have another case of 'oh god I'm being suffocated' like we did last time.
I don't remember who gave me the useful pill swallowing tip - and am too lazy to go back and look it up - of staring at the ceiling. Well this worked for me, for a short time, until one day I couldn't remember how to swallow, the water I'd gulped to help sat at the front of my mouth as the pill rolled into my throat. I thought I was dying and began to panic when, by some herculean effort, my throat managed to contract all by itself and swallowed the pill for me, while I was still screaming obscenities in my own head.
So then I decided I was some kind of amazing medical marvel - right up until I remembered lots of people dry-swallow and that's probably how they do it.

So today I've taken the first pill in my three-month course and am already imagining I have blurred vision (a side-effect) and dizziness, a mere thirty-seconds after swallowing.
But everything DOES look blurry round the edges, and I'm not sure if that's my eyes, the lighting, impending cataracts or the medication. But while I can still read I guess it's not that serious, and by that I mean call a frikkin' ambulance I'm going blind.

This is just like the time bleach splashed up into my eye and I got laughed out of the emergency room for going to them about it - but that's WHAT IT SAID TO DO ON THE BOTTLE. Gees.
Apparently that guideline is just for those of us who accidentally pour the bleach directly into our faces. And of course, for legal reasons.

I have to go now, not only have I written the word swallow far more than any non-porn-related post ever should, but I've now developed a ringing in my ears....or is that the doorbell.


  1. Is this post secretly about porn....?

    I hate swallowing pills. I wasn't able to swallow one until college.

  2. Twas I, with the magic pill swallowing secret. I couldn't swallow pills for forever, which was unfortunate as I took a lot of pills when I was a child. The good thing is that I can chew anything and the taste doesn't bother me - my childhood occurred before time-release capsules so chewing was okay. Then in high school I was prescribed the tiniest pill known to man and that solved everything.

    Now I dry swallow my medication. Unless, of course, I forget how to swallow (yes! me too!) and have to run frantically to the sink to get water as the pill attaches itself to the roof of my mouth.

  3. I am also, by the way, not allowed to read side effects because my mind will give them all to me. I have someone else read them and when I notice ANYthing, I ask if it is a dangerous side effect.