Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Driving me crazy

I used to get better a lot faster than this, apparently childhood spoiled me.
My driving test is one short week away and I'm being forced to cancel my lessons this week since
a) I cannot breathe without my mouth open
b) My concentration is very low
c) I keep sneezing so I don't want to drive with my eyes shut
d) I don't want to get out of my pjs
e) I'm sick dammit

I'm getting scared I am going to fail my test, before I felt confident, I mean you just drive, right? But my "wonderful" friends have filled me with so many nightmare tales I think I'll be lucky to get off the parking lot without the tester screaming, grabbing the wheel and demanding I never drive again.
That aside, I know I can drive.
I may lack finesse or experience but I can drive. I've been doing it for two months with the instructor, I can drive at a perfectly acceptable level. I mean, I haven't hit anyone (yet) or crashed (yet) or broken the law too much.
I can get from a to b without too much destruction so surely if I do that on the day I'll pass, right? Please? I don't have much more money for the learning part of driving. What am I saying, I bankrupt my bank account about £300 ago.

Please let me pass, please, I'll only use my driving powers for good and not evil, and I'll even take D to work at 5am...ummm scratch that last part, but I will be very, very good. Vote for me to pass my test :) (It is a voting system right, if I get enough votes I pass, yeah?)


  1. Maybe if you're all snotty and mouth-breathing when you take your test, the instructor guy will just pass you to get you out of the car? This could be an advantage...

  2. You must trust me when I say don't worry about the driving test. I took it along with my entire Driver's Ed class back in high school. 3/4 of the class was mildly stoned and the other 1/4 was hungover, except that one girl who routinely talks to Jesus really loudly in the cafeteria. She wouldn't take the test because they wouldn't let her hang a 2 foot tall crucifix off the rearview mirror.
    Also, as Hoody says, test guys are usually small, finicky men who hate being sprayed with any bodily fluid. Sneeze on him, he'll pass you just to get back to home base and his wetwipes and sanitizer.

  3. I hope you're right! I've been told to hope it's a man and be very nice to him...just how 'nice' has not been made clear to me... I'm no out-for-hire fluffer!

  4. You'll do fine. Here's the secret no one tells you: no one is a good driver when they take their test. How could you be? You're new.

  5. You have my vote.

    I feel the need to tell you that I failed my test the first time.