7 months old triplets, and still smiling! (17 weeks corrected)

 Oh how they grow!

Ayla, learning to turn pages

Gaius learning to sit-up and play

Zarek laughing at Mama and Mr. Chicken

It's hectic, tiring, but the best thing I have ever done. Gaius now wants nothing more than to try rocking or bouncing on your knee, Zarek just wants to stand all the time and looks completely delighted with himself, and with whomever is holding him up. Ayla finds the littlest things hysterical, I twirl in front of her and she's in stitches.
We now have favourite foods emerging, while all three will eat pretty much anything (except leek, but mama hates leek so whose judging!) Zarek loves apple with cinnamon and he loves potato too. Ayla loves parsnip...and the act of eating. Gaius has yet to have a favourite although he seems very keen on thicker foods and getting his hands into his mouth smearing food everywhere. Everyone loves weetabix.

Ayla has rolled over...once. But that's one whole time more than the boys! Everyone is having stints of sitting up unaided but none of them seem to realise they have the ability to move around for themselves. They sit in whatever position we place them, and then get frustrated when they have had enough. Everyone is trying to reach for things they can see close up, but no-one has realised they could, if they put their mind to it, have anything they see.
In short they are doing exactly what a four-month actual babies should be, and it's fantastic.

They enjoy our songs, story time has fallen by the wayside for more pro-active games or making them laugh, they all now love 'rough-housing' being bounced, thrown, jogged up and down, they laugh away with delight at just about everything, and they are not the only ones laughing!

Happy Candy Day!

So it's that time of the year again, the one everyone complains about. Free candy day!
I say 'free', I'm pretty certain I'm supposed to trade something for the free candy... (my momma should have taught me better)

For the last nine years I have never received a single card, flower, chocolate or anything from D, because he's "so romantic."
This year to save on a very loud and repetitive 'candy day' debate, I bought myself a fab box of chocolates and didn't bother getting D anything. And this year he remembered me.

  He got me this rather special, one-of-a-kind necklace, and it's just perfect!

Three Peas in a Pod

It definitely makes up for the long 9-year candy war!

Now before I get all mushy with delight of my first ever valentines gift, here's three pictures of my funny valentines, because we all know that's what you came here to see really...

The school house rocks

I came up with a new activity for the chiplets while browsing the 99p store. They have been increasingly interested in pictures so when I spied a chalkboard everything fell into place.
I figured they would enjoy maybe seeing me do 'magic' making pictures appear from nothing, or at the very least it would be a learning aid when trying to show then what things i don't have access to look like.

It was a hit at bedtime, not just because mama got a fun activity to do that wasn't just all baby talk!
And so I present to you....
'Holly's Academy for Triplets' (or HAT)

Half a year on (15 weeks corrected)

This time last year, I was pregnant, but I didn't yet know it, and I was about to fall down a flight of stairs. We still joke that that's what 'knocked me up'. I was also about to go to a conference out of town (with a bad back), throw up on the train, assume it was travel sickness (it wasn't) and have a glass of wine after the conference which would then knock me for six and make me the drunkest I have ever been in my life....one little tiny glass of wine. I can't help but keep re-living last year, so much has happened that I feel like I catch glimpses of my 'old life' running parallel to this new one. When I think about the past, and what's happened now, well, I'd never have seen it coming. But enough about me! Let me tell you about how my little darlings are doing.

Leaps and Bounds

For such tiny babies of 3lb, 2lb 4 and 2lb they have really come along. I can only guesstimate their weights now (how very scientific of me) as the recent snow has prevented me from getting to the weighing clinic. (Thanks nature, getting out with baby triplets wasn't enough of a challenge, now I'm supposed to what? Ski there?)
I would guesstimate I now have two 10-12 lb ers and a 15lb er. They are so big now, and it's only when I look back at photos of them in NICU that I can see just how tiny they really and truly were, and it breaks my heart just a little bit.
Their health is fantastic, partly I'm sure down to me and 'the wonders of' breast milk', but I also think a lot of it is just down to them and how hardy they are. The worst we've had is a cold/flu ..... that's it. It's awesome. (I seriously hope I'm not jinxing myself)

They are all so very different and so very smart for what was, this time last year, just a few dividing cells.

Gaius

Usually the first to 'do things' he's found his voice and after a month of ooooh oooh ooh he has now learnt to babble and can make his voice go up and down musically. While this new found trick sounds fantastic and it is great fun to hold nonsense conversations with him, it does come with an unfortunate side effect.
He won't shut up and he can now express his joy, unhappiness, excitement, frustration, enthusiasm and boredom by shouting at me.

Yes I didn't see that one coming. He may have been bored with a toy before but at least I didn't have to hear about it over and over while I fed his sister. He's also decided his siblings are not worth talking to. Apparently they are so far behind his amazing talking skillz that they are unworthy of his attention and he completely ignores poor Ayla when she tries to babble at him.

He's started to focus and concentrate on actual objects now, he starts looking down his nose studying them in great detail while he tries to manouver his hands to grab, touch and point at the things he is looking at. I can now sit him on my knee with a teddy and he'll try stroking it and touching it's face. He's obsessed with faces, and eyes and he loves it when I sit nose to nose with him.

He's also ticklish. His first laugh came from me doing 'this little piggy' and tickling his feet and sides. Since then I haven't really stopped tickling him. His laugh is more like a deep chortle but it's very infectious.
His favourite game now is a mixture between row, row the boat and horsey, horsey. He's definitely happier with bigger, rougher games now. He has become so big that he rides on my hip rather than over my shoulder, which feels lovely to have him gripping and snuggled into me as he explores the world from my arms.

Ayla

Dear sweet Ayla is my 'grass is always greener' baby.You can be the most interesting and sought after thing in the world, she is desperate to be near you, you can see the sheer excitement in her eyes that you are going to hold her and then *poof* she has you and suddenly everything else is more interesting. She will all but break her little neck to look at anything BUT what she already has.
If dada has her, she wants mama, if mama has her, dada sure looks interesting. Don't get me wrong, she doesn't cry or demand these things, she just instantly loses interest in who or what she has.
It can be a bit frustrating at times so I now cradle her when I feed her so she is forced to look at me, or when I play and read with her I do it without holding her. She still has a great deal of fun but I don't feel so ignored.

Ayla's first laugh appeared mere days after Gaius'. D was busy bouncing around the living room which she found hysterical. Her laugh seems to be a combination of fear and excitement making an extremely infectious and uncertain-sounding high pitched giggle. It really is the personification of the word giggle.
She laughs at the strangest things, the word ' chomp', me dancing her around like she's holding a microphone on stage at a concert, things that make her jump and being tickled.
Her favourite game is one I devised from the song 'soft kitty' off of the big bang theory. She adores it, her whole face lights up and she makes quiet "oh" noises while I stroke her face and jiggle her.
She also loves story time, but instead of listening uses it to chatter at me with her new found "oh oh" skills.

She is very aware of her brothers and spends a great deal of time looking at Gaius and trying to get his attention, or watching me as soon as she sees me or hears my voice. When I make eye contact she beams at me in delight.

Zarek

How he has come on! I was recently rewarded with his first ever smile and laugh (while he was sat on my knee looking at me) and he hasn't really stopped smiling since.
What a difference it has made to our little family! We both feared he would never stop crying, whimpering and being miserable but he's found the funny side to life and now coos and squeals at objects and us.
His giggle is like a proper little baby laugh and his smile is just a little bit goofy and completely endearing.

His favourite activity involves reading or singing directly to him. He, unlike the other two, sits mostly quietly lapping it up and completely absorbed in my voice. We don't have to dance or bounce, we can just enjoy each others company and attention.
While pregnant he was the baby stuck under my ribs nearest my voice and as such has always seemed to respond to my voice more than the other two. (Gaius was so low down I doubt he ever even heard my voice!)

When I first met him he had been whimper/crying off and on for days, I finally had a skin-to-skin cuddle with him, sang him a lullaby (which still works to calm him down) and after that point he stopped whimpering in his incubator. He is definitely my cry-baby, having perfected the art of moaning and whimpering without even opening his mouth, but it's still the cutest cry ever. He sticks his bottom lip out, crocodile tears roll down his cheeks and he reasonably quietly says "wah". He's been doing that from birth, constantly, and he's lucky its the cutest and funniest thing I had ever seen or I may have lost my mind. As it was he would start up and I would just laugh at him, scoop him up and deal with it while smiling at his "but mwummy i'm so swad" face.

Six months of being a triplet mama

I can't believe we are here already. It feels as if it can't be five minutes since we finally bought them home, they have been out of hospital and under our roof now for four months!
Part of me tries to reject that thought, where has the time gone?! The other part of me can (vaguely) recall them getting bigger, heavier and growing out of more clothes than I have ever owned in my entire life, so figures that it must be true.
 
(Just a quick note to any multiple mums-to-be; you only need 7 sleepsuits per child, 5 vests and maybe a couple of 'going out' outfits. Honest! not the bags and bags of donated clothes we have covering every surface!! You will though require a boatload of bibs once weaning commences. Lesson learned!)

The triplets are growing so well, perhaps at times faster than I may like, but it is wonderful to watch them progress, they are bigger, healthier, and oh, so very happy. Only now when I look back at the photos of them in incubators does it make my heart feel so sad. They never seemed that poorly back then, but looking at them now, my, my what a HUGE difference.
I like to think that a large part of that is down to me having breastfed them for six months but I can't help but think perhaps it's all down to them. They have been brilliant from day one, taking on the world like it's a piece of cake and all this "breathing" melarky, pah, easy!

 I make a tremendous effort to always have my 'mama' face on around them. I'm always smiling, laughing, singing, tickling and happy to have any repetitive "who can make the most interesting noise" conversations over and over. I am unbelievably patient. Far more patient that either D or I ever thought I could be (my patience just doesn't extend in his direction.)
In truth, 'song time' after their afternoon nap is because mama is just too tired to move anything but her voice and who wouldn't feel more motivated and energetic for the next feed after several rounds of 'she'll be coming round the mountain when she comes'.

It is hard work, but so very worth it. And after months and months of my cheerful exterior I think it really has rubbed off on them. (Zee used to look at me like I was bonkers smiling at him as he screamed into my face, with a 'NO mama, I'm SAD' look on his face. In truth his face was constantly set in the 'default miserable setting' I fretted a heck of a lot that he would never smile, would always cry and was simply the personification of my teen years so I smiled at him...constantly...or stuck my bottom lip out in sympathy while saying to him 'I know, you are juwst so swad')
They are now so very happy. Quick to smile and slow to cry. Sure we have our bad days but as with most things in my life, I travel through them with humour (and hopefully my wits about me), most of the time I can find the funny side in any tantrum.

My household is generally a calm one (or so I am told), I feel like I never stop moving so it doesn't make me feel very calm. I can only assume any calming effect is from instilling such a strong routine into their lives. They always know what's coming so if they get hungry a bit earlier, they don't completely lose it as they know once story or play time ends its lunchtime.
Our routine isn't rigid but we feed, play and nap at roughly the same times every day which helps time pass with more of a purpose. It's not hard to find the energy to play when I know it's just for 45 minutes, then they will have a nap and I can recover.

L-R Gaius, Zarek, Ayla at story time

I have now just stopped breastfeeding (but if someone could tell my body that it would be great).
It had become too difficult to find the time to express milk and spend with the babies, particularly when I'm on my own with them a lot.
Since we've begun weaning anyway, still have a draw full of frozen milk, and as I made it to the much hoped for 6-month mark, I decided enough was enough. Any guilt or concern that stopping was selfish and just for my benefit (because I have been exhausted) vanished when after just four days of actually getting to play with and interact more with my children, Zarek began to smile, laugh and stop looking whipped all the time. He has done a complete transformation and stopped looking so lost, afraid and lonely.
When I read to him he gets so excited, as he does when he can just sit on my knee while we chatter. He shoots me the cutest smiles - all the more precious for how long they took him to achieve. Gaius can finally have cuddles with me after a feed, whereas before I had to put him down so I could express (again) and Ayla enjoys not just being "abandoned" under her play mat for an hour, that I will get on the floor and play with her for a while.
I've stopped feeling like I am on a constant conveyor belt of feed baby a, feed baby b, feed baby c, express milk, feed baby a again etc.
While on that conveyor belt I couldn't help but only look ahead to my next task (thinking hurry up hurry up hurry up) rather than enjoy the one I was currently doing. The sheer volume of work there is to do and the pressure of being their only food source, towards the end became suffocating. The first 4 months were just fine and dandy but as they started to be awake more and more and there appetites became greater and greater, finding ways to amuse them so I could pump enough to keep up with the demand, without sitting in a room full of screaming babies started to become impossible.
I do feel sad that I couldn't breastfeed them as I would a single child, all the way up to a year, but we hardly have a normal situation and as D pointed out, combined it probably works out that in time-frames I probably breastfed one child for two years in the time I've been feeding and pumping for three.

Song time with Gaius on my knee

Don't get me wrong, I'm not supermum. I get tired and ratty like the best of them, our bedtime feeds can sometimes be stressful as I'm feeling too tired to bring my A-game and then of course my little 'darlings' don't want to go to bed.
The tv is on far more than I would like it to be, just to help keep me awake, the downside being that Ayla has become a TV addict. It doesn't matter now if it's on or off, she will all but break her little neck just to watch the box in the corne, which makes me feel like a terrible mama.
I took her to an early appointment the other week and as people arrived in the waiting room they turned on the tv.
Mine was the only baby who immediately tried to lean as much in it's direction as possible so she could watch it. Terrible mama.

But if I've learned one thing about being a mum it's that mama has the word "guilt" in it.
I feel guilty that I spent more time today with one baby than another, or that one child made me smile more, was held more, didn't eat enough, prefers breastmilk, had a trip out, got one on one time, was left to cry so I could use the toilet, had a cuddle with daddy, lived under their play mat, was skipped at story time so I could wolf a sandwich down before I keeled over. guilt Guilt GUILT GUILT!
So I just let it all go. I could not live my life if I let myself feel guilty over every little thing, I most certainly do not have a favourite, so what if some days I hold one more than the others, it all balances out the more days that pass. And they are happy. If I ever needed to know if I was doing it "right" I'd say their happiness speaks volumes.

Gaius, Ayla, Zarek; ready for lunchtime play

Echoes of the past

It feels very strange being at home sometimes, as the meaning of 'home' has now shifted so much. I can remember sitting in this exact spot or doing some task from before we had the triplets and I just keep thinking 'if only you knew what was coming!'
I rather fancy that the echoes of the past are layered over each other with the house 'remembering' what came before. As I sit feeding babies at stupid-o-clock I imagine I can see D and I on the sofa watching a late night movie marathon. No travel cot in the corner, no changing mat on the floor. Oh how our lives have changed!
It's poignant to think of the hours spent sat on our bed as I dreamt of the children I never thought I'd have. Crying over every negative test and the conversations we shared on how we hoped we would raise our fictional children.
Then I think of how I tossed and turned in bed with my huge pregnant belly, how I felt their first kicks early one morning and how we played music to my tummy just to watch them dance.
Of the overwhelming and amazing feeling that came from laying my babies on that same bed a few months later and then feeling my whole world tilt on its axis in a giddying way.
Of moving them into their own room and how D and I would lay at night whispering about how we missed them, how odd it felt for the room to be as it was before we had them, but that beyond the bedroom door so much had changed.

They are six months old tomorrow, and I can't say that doesn't just make me a tiny bit weepy. I've had plenty tears of sadness in getting to this point, now these are definitely tears of joy.

That was a close one

Note to self; in future do not continue to throw Ayla in the air and catch her (she likes it, honest) while walking from room to room. Door frames are much lower than the ceilings.
Yes it was a very close one today as I nearly decapitated dear sweet Ayla on the way to change her nappy.
I think I may have been daydreaming about sim-land since all they ever do to change a poopy nappy is to chuck said baby into the air, a few sparkles and Sfx later; et voila its all better.

On the subject of poop (yes we are going to sink that low) since we started weaning, the sheer nappy carnage has been frightful. Little Zarek always struggled to go and now 'rewards' me with a pooey bum at every change. Every change. Sometimes I have just re-dressed him when he refills his nappy.
I deserve hazard pay.

On a plus D has been feeling guilty!? that I seem to be doing more than him so has been volunteering to change all nappies when he is home to give me a break. I can't say I haven't bitten his hand off over this, it just takes one whiff of ripe be-hind and that child swiftly finds itself deposited into daddy's arms.
It won't last but I will definitely save my nose while I can. Seriously this eating food stuff is messy (and stenchy) on both ends.