Homes Under The Hammer

I don't know if any of you watch this program but it's my 10am-11am addiction! (and some times it's on in the afternoon too!) YAY!
Basically it's a programme in which experts laugh at morons with more money than sense uncover the tricks of the property auction trade.
Don't get me wrong, most of the show is clever and shows savvy people renovating properties they buy at auction and creating a nice profit for themselves...but occasionally there are morons who bid like crazy and have never even seen the property.....and some of these "houses" have no roofs, are collapsing or even infested. (Yeah bet you're loving your 60k purchase now!)
I sometimes think people who HAVE viewed it, bid on it at auction just to drive the price up for the idiots who haven't - I love that idea it's probably the cornerstone of the programme.
Each time the presenters say "So did you view this property beforehand?" and you hear the purchaser answer "no", you just KNOW it's going to be a good one!
"OMG I had noes idea I had like purchased a rat infested turnip in a tee-pee, I fought it was a haus, I has bin conned."

I even love when the presenters "accidentally" break bits of the property while showing us round before the auction, my favourite episode was when he touched the plaster on the ceiling and pretty much the whole thing came down around him as he flippantly said "well that needs fixing" .

It's awesome televised stupidity and vandalism.

However I do like to watch this programme for more than just the laughter it provokes, I fancy myself, like most watchers- as a one day, millionaire property mogul. Brilliantly converting auction properties into luxurious houses and flats with thousand dollar price-tags. So brilliant in fact that they will create me my own house destruction property show.
I haven't quite figured out how I get the start-up capital but after that it's a money machine.
There are even some episodes where people keep throwing money at the place. One renovation spanned EIGHT YEARS as the woman brought the flat to let then spent the time making it into the flat she wanted and finally lived in it. Where do these people get their money and how do I sign up as their next-of-kin?!?
My only financial hope is that my baby business (no I don't make and sell babies, my business is only 6 weeks old which is what makes it a baby) will raise the cash to buy it's own store.
I even die-of-jealousy love when they find a commercial property and buy it for NOTHING convert it for NOTHING and then either sell or run their new business from it....*grinds teeth* just LOVE IT!