Notice boards #2

At my local supermarket on Sunday I discovered what I thought was another funny announcement board notice.

"Unwanted gift, Still wrapped - £45 call..."

I couldn't stop laughing at it and the ambiguity, D and I were discussing just how much we could get away with wrapping up our random junk worth mere £'s and turning it into £££'s by simply wrapping it in Christmas paper and putting an ad up.

...then I moved the card to discover the one above had plopped down over the top line entitled "Set of dumbells" - oh I see, the person writing the card wasn't as dumb as I first though...
Needless to say we adjusted the card back to it's funny style (dumbell line covered up) and left quietly while still giggling to ourselves.

So we add now to our lessons of "How to use a notice board"
Leave the top line BLANK - in case of upper card fall-age.

Words are not enough

My thoughts on reading this - in numerical order;

1. How brilliant
2. Why didn't I think of this
3. Would I really make a good assassin?
4. Probably not
5. Who can I get finally kill off now...
6. What group of people shall I hit since it's cheaper
7. I wonder if there is a loyalty 'kill 6 get one free' scheme
8. What if someone hired them to kill ME and that's why I've been so ill....
9. I wonder if that number really works....dare I ring it....?

I haven't rung it yet....I really want to...so if I get enough comments (because I am not doing this for myself - I mean...what if it's REAL)...I will ring and RECORD my conversation with el Assassin. So you all know what to do....give me 25 hits below and I'll hike to a phone box and ring the number... (because I'm not stupid enough to use my home or mobile phone.) 

And let me know if you think I should be...
a) deadly serious on the phone about hiring an assassin

b) plain desperate - like totally unbelievably over-the-top desperate

c) treat it as a joke

d) use a funny accent and pretend to be a spy

e) give me your totally awesome idea for what I should do

(and if someone from abroad can please promise to take me in if this all goes very wrong and the police and international spies get involved, that'd be great.)