The devil makes work for idle hands...and legs...and...

D has decided the devil has "marked" me. I received 6 double yolkers recently and two night's ago we discovered a bruise on my leg in the shape of a perfect # 6. It's perfect - scarily perfect. I'd have photographed the offending bruise but by the time I woke up and remembered to today it's so faded I doubt you'd be able to notice it. It was eerily well formed and spaced. So while we're waiting for the next frightening #6 to appear, I thought I'd take the chance to show you my latest creations;

This is Elton the Sock Monkey - so named as his fancy eyes remind me of Elton John's Glasses! He's the first ever sock monkey I've ever made and he's really great! (The picture doesn't do him justice)

This is my first ever creation from my own imagination and is (obviously) a crab. But he/she needs a name still.

Now comes the part where I ask you guys for help! I'm trying to find a name as the label for all my critters so they stand apart in the crowd of handmade toys. I was thinking ________ Minions, but I can't think of a good first name. Any suggestions are much appreciated!

Today is Reese's Day!

NUFF SAID;

Thanks Jen! I have never tried Marshmallow fluff but I can barely wait for D to arrive to do so! Serious yummy noises are coming from my house now - and I'm pretty certain I can now replace my blood with pure reese's filling.

Preachy for a change

When did British = Bitter? That's all I hear now; that and I want, I deserve, I need. Let me remind you of what Ghandi and others have said;
 "A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members. -- the last, the least, the littlest."
As Humans we depend on others for co-operation and compassion to survive, every other creature on the planet promotes the survival of the fittest and the weak or injured are left behind. That's what sets us apart. Lose your compassion and you start losing your humanity.
Why is it people are too blind to notice that EVERYONE is in the same boat and just sitting by demanding someone else takes responsibility is childish.
Can nobody remember when such anger and hate towards a scapegoat created a genocide which killed thousands of innocent people?
And can everyone stop having a go at the asylum seekers, the clue is in the name they - came here to avoid DEATH, WAR, MURDER, RAPE and STARVATION - they came to us to save their LIVES and you begrudge them some food, heat and a place to live while they try to understand a new countries language, customs and how to survive in it.

SHAME. ON. YOU.

Today I am disgusted with the feed on my book of face. You racist, money grubbing, disgraces. I am ashamed to even class you as acquaintances - let alone friends and colleagues.

And for the rest of you I write this today only because I cannot stay silent any longer, to stay quiet is paramount to agreeing, and seeing so much hate and bitterness from people everyday is becoming distressing. This is not a world I am happy to live in and I am no longer willing to sit by while the people with the louder and angrier voices get to have their say and shape our society.

My keyboard is editing my thoughts..

Every now and then in the world we come across different people or things which CRUSH our creative outpourings. This is seemingly par for course - yet none of us expect to find this coming from inside our homes.
Now before you all start pointing the finger at D and throwing cabbages and spoiled fruit let me tell you, for once it isn't D - in fact D has been off work sick and treated to the one-woman comedy show that is my life - laughter IS after all the best medicine.
No the traitorous little censorship monkey is none other than my keyboard. It doesn't seem to matter which key I actually press, my keyboard is dead set on writing words different to the ones I am typing. AND NO IT'S NOT MY CHUBBY FINGERS MASHING THE KEYPAD - I don't HAVE chubby fingers so shush those of you heckling from the peanut gallery.
I can write the word go - which becomes the word do. K's are magically appearing mid-words like whale and bare. Words where I'm not even near a K on the keyboard.
I have begun to wonder if perhaps the keyboard (just spelt kayboard) is trying to communicate with me, and send a special message. But as soon as I begin taking note of the letters it chooses to type they only ever come out as an anagram of kayboard....I mean keyboard again.
At least it isn't saying things like "I know your pin number, I'm going to steal all your money" - unless it just did then...hmmmm

Seriously this time of year is crazy!

On a side-note look what I found on my book of face this Christmas;

Love and other Drugs

So I'm on a new course of pills from today. Big scary massive pills that threaten to choke me, luckily though D has smashed the pills into more manageable pieces so we won't have another case of 'oh god I'm being suffocated' like we did last time.
I don't remember who gave me the useful pill swallowing tip - and am too lazy to go back and look it up - of staring at the ceiling. Well this worked for me, for a short time, until one day I couldn't remember how to swallow, the water I'd gulped to help sat at the front of my mouth as the pill rolled into my throat. I thought I was dying and began to panic when, by some herculean effort, my throat managed to contract all by itself and swallowed the pill for me, while I was still screaming obscenities in my own head.
So then I decided I was some kind of amazing medical marvel - right up until I remembered lots of people dry-swallow and that's probably how they do it.

So today I've taken the first pill in my three-month course and am already imagining I have blurred vision (a side-effect) and dizziness, a mere thirty-seconds after swallowing.
But everything DOES look blurry round the edges, and I'm not sure if that's my eyes, the lighting, impending cataracts or the medication. But while I can still read I guess it's not that serious, and by that I mean call a frikkin' ambulance I'm going blind.
Seriously.

This is just like the time bleach splashed up into my eye and I got laughed out of the emergency room for going to them about it - but that's WHAT IT SAID TO DO ON THE BOTTLE. Gees.
Apparently that guideline is just for those of us who accidentally pour the bleach directly into our faces. And of course, for legal reasons.

I have to go now, not only have I written the word swallow far more than any non-porn-related post ever should, but I've now developed a ringing in my ears....or is that the doorbell.

Back Soon

Total Christmas rush is happening in my business and as delightful - and tiring as it is, I don't really have any interesting highlights of my last few days - other than packing a gazillion orders that have seemingly appeared out of no where.
Who knew, I stock all the cool stuff!
As soon as things calm down, and something interesting and non bubble-wrap related happens, I'll be blogging about it. But for now a delivery van has just pulled up outside...a very BIG van - see I can't even make it five minutes into a blog without the business taking over so I must dash now, but hopefully I will get a lull on Saturday and update then! (And hopefully something interesting happens by then, other than me forgetting to do chores, and trying to do laundry around work) - I'm such an exciting daredevil!
Or else, well I'll be forced to explain to you all, how to use the washer and just how many times to kick the door to get it to work properly....
Thrilling stuff eh!