Cat Mafia?

There is a grey cat in my garden as of late. This is the same grey cat that I threatened to capture and abandon 30miles away - I'll perhaps explain that one another day.
It's been taking advantage of my girls and their naivety, I often see him disappearing in my garage meowing and they just trot along after him. I really need to have that talk with them about the "bad boys" of the feline world, and "just say no".
Now my boy cat has put up with this for only so long, every night he has been demanding to go out at 5pm just so her can go "rumble" with this cat. I have no idea why though since I always find him yowling, submissive and crouched under something while being beaten up, and last night was no different.
I came down the stairs to hear a massive cat fight outside, I threw the front door open and mr grey had pinned my darling Roarke to the ground underneath a car. I strode out...(in a see-through nightie no less) umbrella in hand and attempted to beat mr.grey off-of my property.
He left, more because he decided to, than because I actually achieved anything, and poor Roarkle came in acting like it was all a fuss over nothing when I could clearly see he'd literally wet himself.

This morning all three cats were anxious to get out of the front door, we opened it and there on the doorstep was a dead mouse. All three cats immediately adopted a crouched "ears back" stance, as if they had just been gifted a dead horse head, and refused to step outside.
Now I don't know exactly what the dead mouse means, whether it is an offering of love (yeah right, why buy the cow when you get the milk for free) or ...given the reaction...a promise of death. Cat Mafia maybe? I wonder where we humans fit into their payback plans. Can cats start fires? Maybe I'll just go test the smoke alarms....or maybe we really need a puppy now.

UPDATE: On further inspection the dead mouse's head has been cleaved in two.....

Busy, busy, busy

I've been busy working today and got very bored of listening to myself type, so I youtube'd the word MUSIC and here is what i FOUND, enjoy :D

Is it technically work if it involves colouring in?

This actually took an entire afternoon (can you believe) but is a rudimentary sketch of the store layout so I can begin sourcing custom bookshelves, just a taster of the things happening in my life right now, it's all very busy and exciting, we view again to measure up on the 7th, after that it's all about funding and costings before we make a final decision.

I'm a growned-up

I'm all grown up today.
I have viewed some empty shop units....yes I want my own shop...and nothing made me feel quite as grown up as it did to be enquiring about rates, laws, insurance etc. I mean what child EVER went shopping - literally.
(one shop unit has a built-in SAFE - I think I slightly appeared less grown-up chanting - that is so AWESOME to the realtor). I conducted market research...which reminded me of being in school on a fieldtrip, and then I felt even more grown-up writing my first ever cheque and if that wasn't enough...I also applied for my driving license...watch out roads I'll be manoeuvring badly round you soon!

The last time I attempted driving my dad took me down a country road six years ago... I nearly drove us into a ditch by my positioning, and all those years of video games served me badly when the car didn't respond to my twitch of the wheel and while my dad was laughing at me telling me I have to turn it more than that. Damn you ridge racer!

I'm very excited about shoppage, it's an expensive move which will require a business development loan to cover a bit of extra stock and the shelving but it's a step I really want to take...as long as it's the best financial option. Really feel that I need to drive first though.
Grown-up view aside....
It's so pretty, and big, and light and airy and just how I imagined my shop would be and it's great and awesome and I can see myself there. And I want it.

How Roarke got disowned (and why you shouldn't piss mummy off)

When Roarke was but a wee kitten I disowned him. Obviously things worked out okay (he may have some abandonment issues) but he's now a permanent member of our household. It definitely taught him to fear the wrath of mummy.

Back when Roarke was a kitten we hadn't long been in our new home. I'd done masses of laundry ready for our new wardrobes to arrive and it was all sat in a cardboard box in the corner of the living room. Now this box was massive, like the kind you might buy a washing machine in and I had filled it to the brim with clean clothes, ready for the iron.

One night we were sat watching TV when we noticed that Roarke had hopped into the box, I went over to scoop him out and what did I discover.....I discovered that he was PIDDLING all over my laundry. Well I was furious and told him so, he watched me dolefully as I discovered he had been doing his "business" in my laundry for at least a week and that the clothes underneath were ruined and cat-pee stinky.

I held Roarke up in front of me and told him "That's it, I don't love you any more you're no longer welcome in this house, and you can find a new home"
I walked across to the balcony door, opened it, put him down on the other side I shut the door, then proceeded to start putting all my laundry back into piles for washing while muttering expletives.
I'd hear the tiny kitten meows of him coming through the door and I'd remind him to go find a new home if he thinks he's going to wee on everything.
Throughout this D is doubled over with laughter at my anger and Roarke's attempts to apologise.
Eventually I opened the door again and Roarke stared up at me with his big ol' kitten eyes and I asked him. "HAVE YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON?" I received a tiny "meow" so I scooped him up, told him I might be able to love him again and went back inside.

I have to say since that day he has been good as gold and the moment I say his name in an angry tone he's all apologetic. He knows the wrath of mummy is to be feared. and as I write this he is laid across my knee with a black smudge across his nose from some mischief or other.

Rapture

A conversation I had with D's best friend, post rapture;

Grice: Ok, so about this 'The world's gonna end thing'... when exactly was it supposed to be again?
Me: Just before Doctor Who came on, I did dash upstairs to check that D was still there and hadn't been raptured, but then halfway up the stairs realised there wouldn't be much point checking...
Grice: If they were to take him and not me, I'd be mightily annoyed. But then, if they were to take me, I'd bne asking some serious questions of the selection process.
Me: I am still waiting for the giant cosmic joke where the rapture happens today, like a haha you got the date wrong "rapture NOW!" (I imagine that to be a bit like "Pokemon GO!" and everyone who was being stupid and laughing at the rapture...ahem...would have failed the big test.....oh yes....karma.
Grice: Well I wouldn't mind that so much as it will happen AFTER the end of the football season. Small comforts and all that.
Me: I'm pretty sure the rapture melts footballs
Grice: Dammit!

Ya'll better post so I know you survived....or is it just Grice, D and I left??? Cool, no lines at the movie theatre

Just in case....

the rapture doesn't take pets now does it....