Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Crazy terms and conditions

You may have noticed some pages appear in the bar at the top of the blog. I'm attempting to tidy up a little and also decided to shamelessly promote my own business, which you can check out on one of the links up there.
I've recently expanded my business (next step world domination) and I'm in the process of creating a website. Here is some of the crazy shit I've encountered on my journey.

From Google
You may use Google Sites to create websites for your business or to promote your products or services, unless you are in Cuba, Iran, or Sudan.

I did a double take at that part, it's rather...specific, particularly since the site agreement if for British Businesses only.

Wiki chose to inform me that "As of 2011, the most expensive domain name sales on record were: Sex.com for $13 million in October 2010" - Gee thanks wiki I really Needed to know that.

And then in choosing my domain name I was given this HILARIOUS advice.

Intercapping (Adding capital letters to make words stand out) is often used to emphasize the meaning of a domain name. However, DNS names are case-insensitive, and some names may be misinterpreted in certain uses of capitalization, creating slurs.
This is where it gets good
For example: Who Represents, a database of artists and agents, chose whorepresents.com, which can be misread as whore presents. Similarly, a therapists' network is named TherapistFinder.com. (The Rapist Finder) In such situations, the proper meaning may be clarified by use of hyphens in the domain name. For instance, Experts Exchange, a programmers' discussion site, for a long time used the name expertsexchange.com, but ultimately changed the name to experts-exchange.com.


I've taken from this experience only the knowledge that internet is fun...and kinda crazy, that Sex.com is out of my price range and that if I want success, I shouldn't inter-cap and I should stay away from Cuba, Sudan & Iran.

Here is a gift for getting through this post, I am going to show you an ACTUAL PICTURE of THE INTERNET!!!


And for those of you who may not know why this is a picture of the internet or may have never heard of the I.T Crowd I will leave you with an even more confusing quote.
Jen: "With all due respect John, I am the head of IT and I have it on good authority. If you type "Google" into Google, you can break the Internet. So please, no one try it, even for a joke. (the executives laugh) It's not a laughing matter. You can break-the-Internet."

4 comments:

  1. LOVE the ebay page! The green colors make me want to buy something. Anything available on Kindle? *ducks* JUST KIDDING!
    Seriously, it looks fabulous!

    *stares at "The Internet"*
    It's so ... so ... so not what I was expecting. I was hoping for something in a shade of royal blue, but I guess brown will have to do.

    The domain name advice is too funny! I wonder if they have an Amateur Sex Change site, or is it limited to Experts only? Discount Sex Change? Just saying!

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  2. That's not the internet! Where are the tubes? And if you're gonna get a sex change, you should spend a little extra and get it from an expert...

    Also, if you need a new name for your business, "Whore Presents" has a nice ring to it and would look good on a credit card statement!

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  3. I broke the Internet twice.

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  4. No wonder it went down over here!

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